Thank you guys for your (ahem) unique questions. Lol, those are the best kind! So here are my 100 % honest answers:
Do you think less of people who don't have boyfriends?
-- No, in fact I envy those of you who have never had boyfriends. When I was like that, I was perfectly happy just flirting and enjoying boys' company. Now that I know what I could have and suddenly don't have it, it makes me sad. So I do not think less of you at all. I just envy you.
Are you really afraid of commitment, or do you just say that because you're afraid you won't find someone worth commiting to?
--yes. I am afraid that I will never be satisfied with any one male. I really don't. I mean my track record isn't that great, is it? I wasn't faithful to Kelly for more than 3 weeks at a time....
What's your favorite thing to think about, other than guys?
--Food, friends, clothes, whipped cream, music, Pierce Brosnan (oops that's a guy), and philosophy.
Do You like animal crackers?
--I only like playing with them. They're too dry to eat unless you're starving.
Does raw meat gross you out?
--Not at all. I am a full-blodded carnivore, and raw meat just makes me hungry. And I used to play this weird game when I was little where my friend Claire and I would be lions or tigers or Ocelots and we would eat roast beef and pastrami and pretend it was raw meat. So now, besides making me hungry, raw meat makes me feel like an Ocelot.
Would you rather be a fake or a real Christmas tree?
--Real. They smell pine-y fresh. Unless I could be a silver fake tree. Then it's a toss-up.
Do you love ice skating just oh so much?
--YES!!! I think that that would be one of the most perfect dates: Ice skating at a swanky rink somewhere surrounded by the city, lights ablaze, and he would caath me when I fell, and we would laugh heartily and watch our breath condense into little puffs of laughter. And then we would go sip hot mochas at some little downtown cafe, and I would admire the way his cheeks were glowing from the cold....and then we would curl up together by the fire.....mmmmm......
Do you think that the style in which a person flirts can limit whose attracted to them? Or is flirting is flirting is flirting?
--Well, I tailor my flirting techniques to each individual male target. So kindof both.
What would you do if you got him? You can't take him anywhere, you know. The manners of a musk ox (LOL!!). But so very cute. Okay, you could take him places. Just not to tea with the queen--that belching!
--Mmmmm. Lots of things. but actually, other than that, i donno. Ths is a really hard question, and I think I just realized that I really don't think he would be very good boyfriend material. That makes two who would fall under that category: him and The Hairless Wonder. arg. But I still want them both.
Which is worse, having no guy friends, or no Boyfriends?
--no guy friends, hands down. I have so much fun with my guy friends! They never fail to amuse me and also want to scold them. And they are so adorable just for the sake of being purely adorable! Plus, you can ask them about guy problems, and they have really good answers. And if worse comes to worse, you can always turn them into boyfriends. Very messy business though.
What's the worst smell in the world in your opinion, besides human waste?
--Actually, I don't think human waste is all that bad. But swiss cheese! UGH! and rotten eggs, too, but I'm not in the habit of smelling bad things, so I'm not really the definitive source on these things.
Which hot dog condiment would you be, and why?
--does whipped cream count? I eat that on everything. So whipped cream. Because I like to be creamy and frothy and melt-in-your-mouth good. But not in that way....
Stand-up bass or electric?
--Honestly, I don't think I've seen enough bass in my life to know the difference. But whatever the jazz musicians play.
Why is 'glockenspiel' called such?
--it's german. For glock with spiel. Glock being some kind of blue goo, and spiel being a sales pitch given by some huckster at the state fair. If you stand and listen to the guy, you will have to buy some of his glock.
Did you know the word 'mouse' is scandinavian slang for the vagina and saying it loudly in public in that country could potentially get you in jail?
--mice don't even remotely resemble.....um.....no, I didn't. Where is Scandinavia, anyhow?
Did you know I speak swahili?
--no i did not, asantisana! Did you know that I am capable of not speaking at all? (really, I swear!!)
Do you think less of people who don't have boyfriends?
-- No, in fact I envy those of you who have never had boyfriends. When I was like that, I was perfectly happy just flirting and enjoying boys' company. Now that I know what I could have and suddenly don't have it, it makes me sad. So I do not think less of you at all. I just envy you.
Are you really afraid of commitment, or do you just say that because you're afraid you won't find someone worth commiting to?
--yes. I am afraid that I will never be satisfied with any one male. I really don't. I mean my track record isn't that great, is it? I wasn't faithful to Kelly for more than 3 weeks at a time....
What's your favorite thing to think about, other than guys?
--Food, friends, clothes, whipped cream, music, Pierce Brosnan (oops that's a guy), and philosophy.
Do You like animal crackers?
--I only like playing with them. They're too dry to eat unless you're starving.
Does raw meat gross you out?
--Not at all. I am a full-blodded carnivore, and raw meat just makes me hungry. And I used to play this weird game when I was little where my friend Claire and I would be lions or tigers or Ocelots and we would eat roast beef and pastrami and pretend it was raw meat. So now, besides making me hungry, raw meat makes me feel like an Ocelot.
Would you rather be a fake or a real Christmas tree?
--Real. They smell pine-y fresh. Unless I could be a silver fake tree. Then it's a toss-up.
Do you love ice skating just oh so much?
--YES!!! I think that that would be one of the most perfect dates: Ice skating at a swanky rink somewhere surrounded by the city, lights ablaze, and he would caath me when I fell, and we would laugh heartily and watch our breath condense into little puffs of laughter. And then we would go sip hot mochas at some little downtown cafe, and I would admire the way his cheeks were glowing from the cold....and then we would curl up together by the fire.....mmmmm......
Do you think that the style in which a person flirts can limit whose attracted to them? Or is flirting is flirting is flirting?
--Well, I tailor my flirting techniques to each individual male target. So kindof both.
What would you do if you got him? You can't take him anywhere, you know. The manners of a musk ox (LOL!!). But so very cute. Okay, you could take him places. Just not to tea with the queen--that belching!
--Mmmmm. Lots of things. but actually, other than that, i donno. Ths is a really hard question, and I think I just realized that I really don't think he would be very good boyfriend material. That makes two who would fall under that category: him and The Hairless Wonder. arg. But I still want them both.
Which is worse, having no guy friends, or no Boyfriends?
--no guy friends, hands down. I have so much fun with my guy friends! They never fail to amuse me and also want to scold them. And they are so adorable just for the sake of being purely adorable! Plus, you can ask them about guy problems, and they have really good answers. And if worse comes to worse, you can always turn them into boyfriends. Very messy business though.
What's the worst smell in the world in your opinion, besides human waste?
--Actually, I don't think human waste is all that bad. But swiss cheese! UGH! and rotten eggs, too, but I'm not in the habit of smelling bad things, so I'm not really the definitive source on these things.
Which hot dog condiment would you be, and why?
--does whipped cream count? I eat that on everything. So whipped cream. Because I like to be creamy and frothy and melt-in-your-mouth good. But not in that way....
Stand-up bass or electric?
--Honestly, I don't think I've seen enough bass in my life to know the difference. But whatever the jazz musicians play.
Why is 'glockenspiel' called such?
--it's german. For glock with spiel. Glock being some kind of blue goo, and spiel being a sales pitch given by some huckster at the state fair. If you stand and listen to the guy, you will have to buy some of his glock.
Did you know the word 'mouse' is scandinavian slang for the vagina and saying it loudly in public in that country could potentially get you in jail?
--mice don't even remotely resemble.....um.....no, I didn't. Where is Scandinavia, anyhow?
Did you know I speak swahili?
--no i did not, asantisana! Did you know that I am capable of not speaking at all? (really, I swear!!)
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