Going through a rather sketchy time at school and w/ parents. I realized today that they have never let me fly on my own....Always with the constant emails to my teachers, nightly binder checks, making teachers sign my assignment notebook, then checking that I have those things done, etc. Last year when this came up I didn't have the leverage that I have now: college. Plus, I wasn't mature enough to say what I wanted to in a logical way. I don't really know why I posted this, but it helps to just get it out there. I just copied/pasted from the letter I wrote them, so some of it might not make sense....I feel like I have had an epiphany though. I can almost taste the motivation, just around the corner. I hope they make the right choice....
"How are you going to know what I can do on my own if you never leave me alone? You tell me that you can't do that, that you can't allow me to fail, that the stakes are too high, but consider this: if I continue like this for the rest of this year, you won't have to worry about what I do in college, because I won't be going. And if you leave me alone and I succeed, well, you won't have to worry about me in college then either, because you will have already seen what I can do on my own. Alternatively, if you do what you usually do at this point,--closely monitor me so that I am shoved down the path to success, how will you--or most importantly, I myself--know if I can find my way down that path on my own?
Like it or not, the time for teaching me the lessons I need to succeed is over. You and I both know that I have the tools to succeed. This is the test, sink or swim. There is no other viable option. You have given me the tools, now let me show you that I know how to use them. Sure, a teacher feels nervous before their students take a test, for how will she know if they will fail or pass?
The answer is she can't. So let me bring it back into the context of this semester. If you look at it logically, it doesn't make sense to hold my hand and only let go when you have led me to college on the end of a leash, never having had the chance to see how I bounce back--or not--from failure without your help. Has it ever occurred to you that because of the fact that every time there is a problem you hold my head above water, I don't know what I am capable of? There is no way for me (or you) to know if I can do it, but I do know (although you cannot) that I have this incredible desire to try. If willpower equals ability, start celebrating my acceptance to the college of my choice. Let me show myself (and you, in the process) what I can do. Let me do it now--before you are paying for it; before the stakes are truly too high."
"How are you going to know what I can do on my own if you never leave me alone? You tell me that you can't do that, that you can't allow me to fail, that the stakes are too high, but consider this: if I continue like this for the rest of this year, you won't have to worry about what I do in college, because I won't be going. And if you leave me alone and I succeed, well, you won't have to worry about me in college then either, because you will have already seen what I can do on my own. Alternatively, if you do what you usually do at this point,--closely monitor me so that I am shoved down the path to success, how will you--or most importantly, I myself--know if I can find my way down that path on my own?
Like it or not, the time for teaching me the lessons I need to succeed is over. You and I both know that I have the tools to succeed. This is the test, sink or swim. There is no other viable option. You have given me the tools, now let me show you that I know how to use them. Sure, a teacher feels nervous before their students take a test, for how will she know if they will fail or pass?
The answer is she can't. So let me bring it back into the context of this semester. If you look at it logically, it doesn't make sense to hold my hand and only let go when you have led me to college on the end of a leash, never having had the chance to see how I bounce back--or not--from failure without your help. Has it ever occurred to you that because of the fact that every time there is a problem you hold my head above water, I don't know what I am capable of? There is no way for me (or you) to know if I can do it, but I do know (although you cannot) that I have this incredible desire to try. If willpower equals ability, start celebrating my acceptance to the college of my choice. Let me show myself (and you, in the process) what I can do. Let me do it now--before you are paying for it; before the stakes are truly too high."
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home